But, but, but, butt, butt, butt...

Some of you probably aren't Christian, and wonder, "Why all the God/Bible Stuff"? 


It has been a few days since my last blog.  I have been praying about what my purpose is, and what actions of mine are important. 

Here's the deal...

1. God wants me to witness to you.  To share my testimony with you.  To share my life experience and relay to you my journey.  If you close your ears at the mention of the word "testimony" or "witness" makes you think of door-to-door religion, you're not alone.  But, I feel led to let you know, I have experienced some really awesome things.  Some things that were so awesomely horrific I thought I would die, and some miracles so awesome I thought I might have gone to heaven. 
2. I am running a RACE.  It is the most important race of my life.  I am attempting to live within a real, aware, Christina experience.  This means living my life in a way that I am fully aware of my mind, body and spirit.  This means running a marathon, not a hypothetical or parabolic marathon.  A real, blister popping, gut wrenching, 26 mile marathon. (And I'm really fat!)
3. I am excited!  I am full of the an energy that is busting out of me.  I am full of joy.  I want to share my joy with you.  I want to share with you the source of my joy.  I want you to be so filled with joy you are overcome like I am. It is infectious.

This is the hardest task I have ever undertaken.  I am not going to sugar coat this.  I weigh almost 200 lbs.  I have been skinny and fat so many times in my adult life, my gal bladder couldn't take the stress and ran away.  (This is a true story)

The fat is the tip of the iceberg.  I struggle with work, children, step-children, x-wives, x-husbands, marriage, finances, car troubles, my education, loss of loved ones, divorces... and the list goes on.  But you know what?  I'm still filled with joy!  I have faith that no matter what he brings me to, he will bring me through.

BUT...How can I touch women's lives?  How can I lead people to Christ?  How can I minister to those in need?  How can I overcome the feeling of fear I feel at being openly Christian?  How can I, little ole' Tracy Sparks make a difference? Me who is not an expert at anything but making pigs fly.  What do I have to offer?  I'm not rich.  I don't have much time.  My life is like a circus. I feel like "the least of these".  I feel insignificant.  I feel like I'm not big enough for the task. 

Today, I was reminded AGAIN that every place in the bible that God leads his people to minister, and they feel this way, He does BIG things.  He takes away the BUT.  He has lead me to this task, and He will lead me through it.  And I pray He leads you to Him through me.

Being a Christian doesn't mean all your problems are going to magically disappear.  It means knowing that no matter what this world throws in your path, you KNOW that everything is gonna be okay.  Did you see how that sentence ended?  "PERIOD"  There are no ifs, ands or buts.  Everything is gonna be okay.

Thank you to my dear friend who invited me to join her today for church while I was travelling in my old stomping grounds.  Something profound was spoken to me in that place today.  I had a vision of God lifting me up during the hardest parts of my RACE and helping me through.  God is the wind beneath my wings. (or the East Australian Current beneath my fins).

Just keep swimming.
God Bless!