This is a test...

At least that is what this week has been for me.  I struggled through it, and managed to come out on the other side.  Monday was the first day of phase two of my walk/run program.  Monday, I hurt my ankle really bad while jogging.  I kept going anyway, and now can barely maneuver steps. :( 

Monday of next week, I will begin phase two of my walk/run program again.  This time without the dog to trip me up.

Speaking of the dog, Mr. Silas came out of his surgery only slightly scathed.  Now I don't have to worry about him procreating with the poodle next door or Ms. Bean down the street.

Time management has been a bear for me the last few days.  So many "to do" lists, and not enough time to do them all.  When I become completely overwhelmed, rather than digging my heals in and frantically getting caught up, I become sluggish and unproductive.  This is a terrible character trait of mine that I struggle with daily.  I did keep my priorities straight somewhat though.  I managed to keep up with my commitment to get to know God.  I have read the bible, attended church, prayed and done my bible study faithfully as planned.

On that front.  It seems God is pushing me to evaluate my character and its wonders and defects.  Some days I am called to list my assets and other days I have been called to list my shortcomings.  I have taken some inventory, and found that I'm not too far from the mark, but still need to work on some subtle adjustments.  Primarily keeping it simple, letting go and letting God, thinking, and staying in reality.

During my evaluation of character, I have caught myself daydreaming about the person "God wants me to be".  My daydreams are lofty, and I imagine myself doing incredible service work in South Africa or painting a great structure like the Sistine Chapel.  Reality is, I am already the person God wants me to be.  He just wants me to accept it, and maybe, just maybe, share it with you.  Strange thing to realize that the only change I need is being comfortable in my own skin.  Nothing profound or earth shattering.  Just a four letter word. L-I-V-E.

So many times throughout history, people have argued with God about being his witness. I'm too old. I'm too dirty.  I'm just a lowly child.  I am afraid.  Just because I don't think my witness to his power is powerful enough, doesn't make it so.  God can speak through me just as readily as he can speak through a missionary in the Philippines.  When I seek to know about God's glory, I do not try to find unbelievable tales about miracles of extraordinary size.  No, I want to hear about the alcoholic that stopped drinking.  The compulsive spender who got her credit card in check.  The insecure mom who found happiness in baking.  The 37 year old woman who couldn't pay her bills, couldn't lose weight, and lost the one relationship that made her feel whole....

I want to know that I'm not alone.  When I share with you, I hope that you find comfort in the fact that I struggle with the same things you do.  I don't have it "all" figured out.  We're in this RACE together.

God Bless!